I crouch there in child pose on the bed letting the time wash over me; allowing the peace and solitude to clear away the wasted emptiness sub’s heart feels when apart from Him.
All that emotion and sensation, love and burning desire chained away, it’s safer there, but always waiting for its’ moment of release, which can only be brought forth by another.
Still He had not come for her. And so I waited longer still in this silence to allow her time to feel what she needs to feel in these moments when she feels brave enough to come forth.
Huddled in this comforting self hug, my head resting gently on the matress, eyes quietly, peacefully shut, arms outstretched in front of me, palms turned up and reaching out for only empty air which is all they will find there. Bent in two like this, I feel her heart beat slowly and steadily, hungrily and sadly against my knees…it’s as patient as she is though.
A yearning for something intangible rolls silently and vastly through my body; she is rocked by it and I feel her reacting so physically to it from my objective view point of Self. Sub is locked away without these moments of freedom and solice, and whilst without a guide to shepherd her, I take that place of Him, caring for my lonely beautiful submissive little girl, because she is mine. I am hers. We are one and the same and yet so incredibly seperate.
She is quieter now, she slips into reality less and less frequently, tending generally to let me take the lead, which of course is what she knows best. But when she comes out I let her have her time; she wants to take over my mind and my body and I let her, because my self and my sub support one another when no one else knows how to.
She craves a Dominant, and I crave it too on her behalf, but above and beyond being any Dominant’s, at times when we are free from a leader, she is mine to love and cherish. And in these moments of quiet, still silence, when it is just me and mostly her curled round one another on the bed, drinking in the bliss of being brave enough to be free, if only just for a short while before she needs to retreat back in and bring her strength Self back, we take joy in one another. Pleasure at having the company of a similar yet different self….I drift between her mind and mine and enjoy the differences, the similarities, the desires, the yearning, the unquenched needs of her…and the regularly fulfilled needs of my own.
Both so different yet, one and the same.
My little submissive shadow and me
